Bind Me by Zaires Anna

Author:Zaires, Anna [Zaires, Anna]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Mozaika Publications
Published: 2016-02-02T05:00:00+00:00

18

Y ulia

My pulse hammers with anxiety as we walk silently to the bathroom. I can feel Lucas’s anger. It’s different from what I’ve seen from him before—colder and more controlled. He’s both furious and resolved, and that frightens me more than if he had just exploded at me.

He lets me go into the bathroom alone as usual, and I close the door behind me, leaning against it to gather my thoughts and calm my frantic heartbeat. The food I ate at dinner is like a brick in my stomach. I haven’t felt the bite of terror in over a week, and I’ve forgotten how powerful it can be.

He lied. He lied when he promised not to hurt me. I could see the dark intent on his face, feel the barely restrained violence in his touch.

He’s going to do something to me tonight—something terrible.

Feeling sick, I use the toilet and wash my hands, going through the motions despite my panic. The knowledge of Lucas’s betrayal is like a spear through my chest. In the beginning, I suspected he may be playing me, but as the days went on, I slowly began to lose my natural distrust of him, to believe that the bizarre domesticity of our arrangement might continue for some time.

To hope he truly won’t hurt me.

Dura. Dura, dura, dura. The Russian word for fool is like a jackhammer in my skull. How could I have been such an idiot? I know what Lucas is. I see the demons that drive him. My captor is a man who walked away from a good, safe home to embark on a life of danger and violence, and he didn’t do it out of love for his country.

He did it because it’s his nature—because he needed to find an outlet for the darkness within.

I’ve known others like him. My instructors. Obenko himself. They all share this trait, this inability to be part of a peaceful society and abide by its laws. It’s what makes them so good at their jobs—and so dangerous.

When conscience is nonexistent, it’s easy to do what needs to be done.

“Yulia.” A knock on the door startles me, and I realize I’ve just been standing there, absorbed in thought. “Are you done?” Lucas’s deep voice breaks my paralysis, and I spring into action, my fear drowned under a wave of adrenaline.

“Almost,” I call out, raising my voice to be heard over the running water. “Just need to wash my face.”

Leaving the faucet on to mask the sounds of my movements, I kneel and open the cabinet under the sink. There, among extra toilet paper rolls and tubes of toothpaste, is the object I hid for just such an eventuality.

It’s a small metal fork I snitched from the kitchen two days ago, slipping it into my shorts pocket while Lucas was washing the dishes. He’d left it inside the kitchen drawer that holds napkins and other small items, likely without realizing it was there. I took it while getting fresh napkins for the table and hid it here, hoping I’d never need to use it.

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